Against all odds, I am one of “those moms”

As mothers raising and educating our children naturally and freely, following their rhythm and interests, we often hear two contradictory criticisms: we're both "overprotective" and "neglectful." Let's tackle them.

"She's one of those moms who will spoil her children with 'too much togetherness' and 'over-protection.'"

Yes, I'm one of those moms who is always ready and available for her children.

Yes, I am one of those moms who profoundly respects her children's right to give and deny consent and, like an umbrella, shields her children from relatives or friends who want to take photos, kisses and hugs from her children without their permission.

Yes, I'm one of those moms who, no matter how late it is or how tired she is, will always listen to the stories, songs and questions of her children.

Yes, I'm one of those moms who breastfed and co-slept with her children for as long as they wanted to, and well beyond toddler-hood.

Yes, I'm one of those moms who puts her children's needs, dignity, happiness and fulfillment over the wants and demands of adults and society.

On the other hand, we also hear…

"She's one of those moms who 'neglects' her children and lets them do as they please."

Yes, I'm one of those moms who cares deeply about her children's autonomy, agency and right to choose.

Yes, I am one of those moms who chooses peace, understanding and modelling behaviour over coercion, instruction and scolding.

Yes, I'm one of those moms who doesn't impose her own agenda on her children, who doesn't rush them, who says "yes" to them often, who truly listens and lets her children learn what they want to learn, when and how they want to learn it.

Yes, I am one of those moms who takes very seriously her children's right to deny or give consent and does not ignore or force them to do what they don't want; who never shows or tells things about her children without their permission.

Yes, I'm one of those moms who chooses instinct, trust, respect and connection over manuals, fear, arbitrary standards, and academics.

Yes, I'm one of those moms whose love for her children is more powerful than social pressures and what others may say.

Despite the unfounded criticisms, the difficulties and all the social pressures we endure – against all odds – lets hold our heads high up, moms; like flowers do. We know in our hearts what is best for our children, no matter what others may think or say.

Happy Mother's Day!